How to Make Wild Elderflower Fritters

All the elder just finished blooming in these parts. To celebrate, we picked some elderflowers and made some delicious elderflower fritters.

They were divine, and I'm not just saying that because I was raised in Georgia and love fried food. The flowers effuse the batter and make a fragrant and sweet treat.

Okay, to be honest, it reminded me of those amazing/obscenely decadent funnel cakes I used to get at Six Flags over Georgia. So maybe it all about the south.

This is what elderflowers look like before you dip them in the love:

And here's how to make elderflower fritters in ten easy steps:

1. Pick elder flowers, fresh white ones, not green ones. Be careful with your ID, of course, they sort of resemble blooming hemlock which is poisonous. Also, elder is a tree!

2. Clip the flowers down so there's just a bit of stem to dip with.

3. In a large mixing bowl, proceed to make a batter mix. We used one egg, a cup of flour, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of sugar, and a pinch of salt. But you could also just use pancake mix if you want to make it really, really easy.

4. For best results, let the batter sit a minute or two to thicken.

5. Meanwhile, heat up your pan with an inch of cooking oil. We actually used olive oil, but something lighter is probably better.

6. Dip the flowers into the batter.

7. Plunk those mugs in the hot oil and fry to a golden brown.

8. Optional: Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

9. Serve piping hot a la Six Flags over Georgia circa 1986.

10. Bask in the afterglow and rest assured that whatever health benefits offered up by fresh elderflower are effectively zeroed out by all the hot grease.

Clean Coal is Good Clean Fun

This made me laugh, even though I am pretty much resigned to the fact that the next 50 years will see more coal burning in the first world than ever before. Doesn't matter how clean it is if coal emissions rise by 500% after oil peaks.

On the up side, black top hats are gonna be in style again.

Amanita Muscaria and other Finds

Mushroom season is upon us! I've been on several forays in the last month, so I'm just gonna splash up some of the best pics. Mushroom identification is like dream interpretation sometimes.... only you can decide about what to do next with the information revealed.

Disclaimer for Kids: don't eat wild mushrooms. Bad idea.

So below is a red bolete, poking out of the duff. I like how they hide.


And these are candy caps (lactarius rubidus) - which are amazing in cookies and even homemade ice cream.


And a tiny shrimp russela - considered "choice" but we just took photos.


But the real winner last week was amanita muscaria.

Yes, this is the smurf mushroom, the original Christmas present under the pine tree, the friend of many Siberian shamans. They were all over the place the week before Christmas!

Here's another amazing one:

Little hider. For more background into the psycho-mythic past of amanita muscaria, check out this post by Feral Kevin.

How to Prepare Amanita Muscaria to Eat

We ate them. Yes, they're poisonous/visionary as is, but we didn't want to go that road so here's how we safely ate the amanita muscarias without any ill effects:

1. Brush loose dirt off freshly picked mushrooms
2. cut them into slices like chicken strivulets
3. boil them for 15-20 minutes in a pot. The muscimol and related toxins are water-soluble so this renders the flesh edible.
4. Pour out the water and do what you will with that. Siberian shaman used to drink reindeer piss to get at these psychotropic compounds - just sayin'.
5. Sauté the mushroom flesh like you treat meat or tofu. We used butter.
6. Eat! The taste is amazing - I kept saying "this tastes like delicious chicken strivulets." A little salt helps too. Eat over rice, as a side, or in a salad.

I usually don't recommend the eating of wild mushrooms so glibly, but this is about the one mushroom in the world that is easily recognizable and has no deadly look-a-likes. After all, amanita muscaria is technically poisonous, so you've been warned. Do your homework and have a mushroom expert on hand whenever cooking wild mushrooms.