Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Gonna hang my hat

Glory be - I've found a place to live! This city is a tough beast to crack open. Like a nut, I mean. A nut-beast. I'm not sure who to thank for this sweet providence, except for all the fish n chips of course. However, I'm partially convinced that this is the work of today's Cosmic Trigger Event.

Indeed, reputable new age astrologers from the Academy of Sorcerers have calculated that today, Oct 17, 2006, is the beginning of a GIGANTIC PULSE BEAM of UV light that will magnify our good intentions a million-fold. It is recommended to be near some trees or the ocean (or at least near some tinkling water for effect) to further concentrate your powers. And for everyone's sake, do not watch Must See TV for the next 17 hours or we're all toast.

I'm so excited I'm going to pee my pants. To the cosmic guardians I say: May all of the universe be showered with golden light!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Suburban Fetish of the Week

I've been accused in the past of "making up" the connection between little girls, horses, and - um - sensuality. This little piece of art, devised by Dominic Wilcox, is actually available for sale. Custom-made. Real leather and multiple settings. "Putting the fun back in housework" is the tagline.

Feministing bloggers, to whom I owe this find, wonder if it's a tool of the patriarchy or an honest appraisal of housewives' lonely days.

A close woman friend of mine, meanwhile, wonders if it's functional. "Those corners aren't going to work," she says, "it needs more rounded edges. Also, if it was really designed by a woman for women, it wouldn't be leather... it's still a male fantasy."

Perhaps. But I'm not the one who had my first orgasm at a canter.

Friday, October 06, 2006

It was autumn

Yeah, for about a week it was Autumn. I flew on the back of a silver-bellied gas guzzler to my old stomping grounds to find crisp air, fragrant blooms and the maples just starting to crone out. These here are confederate daisies on top of Arabia Mountain.

Apparently, as soon as I left to come back to Fog-City, the weather turned hot as a mug again. Don't blame me, I'm a dreamer.