My favorite pirate

It is good, in times of transition, to remember our heroes who inspire us. Here is my all-time favorite pirate.

"Captain William Dampier, who is often quoted as an example of a big, bold pirate, was in fact a mild man compared to the other pirates. He was really a naturalist who occasionally practiced a little piracy on the side, more or less by accident." (from A Ladybird book of Pirates, 1970).

This is a rare shot of Captain Dampier checking his email out at sea.

I also want to take this opportunity to shake my head at Bluebeard, who was a terrible pirate with no sense of imagination and too many empty rooms in his castle.

Canada still cold

It's true that record low ice levels in the Artic may be responsible for some drastic changes in weather in the near future.

The good news is, we'll be able to open the Northwest Passage perhaps as early as 2020. That's gonna come in handy once McDonalds colonizes the north pole. Until a proper beef pipeline is in place, of course.

However, Canadians maintain that their country is still cold and miserable, after hearing that the promise of a bountiful future, as well as gentle lefty values, may be luring too many Americans above the 66th parallel.

Me? I'm moving to the dank heart of the southern swamps.

Today's apocalyptic vision

Manzanita bushes creeping over the old roadbeds, slowly covering the gash of 20th century asphalt with a food forest. We tend the roads by harvesting berries, herbs, kudzu, and other medicinal succulents. It's mid-summer and I'm eating huckleberry pie every morning with my cup of roasted bay nut tea. One night during the new moon, we watch the Perseid meteors overhead and talk about the old days, missing the HBO but not so much the isolation and constant warfare. Fade out.

Integral Dualism

Stuart Davis takes one for the team in this dialogue between his green lefty humanist self and his cynical transhumanist alter ego. Somehow, both sides of himself lose as Kosmic nondual reality laughs at the gentle hominid that just wants to save the owls.

Feral Kevin serves up the Funk

The wild-crafting mojo of Feral Kevin has gone native on a new server, serving up hot plates of instructional videos on some of my favorite subjects: sustainability, permaculture, and how to survive on the weeds in your own backyard.

He also knows a mean recipe for black sage beer, but has been historically tight-lipped about it. My sacred duty is to crack the code sometime this month.

Meat Bubbles

Here's my vote for the Suburban Fetish of the Month. A friend of mine just purchased the Fetch-a-Bubble, which provides, quote, "hours of chicken-scented bubble fun" for your dog. He is, like his dog, intrigued and simultaneously horrified at the phenomenon of Meat Bubbles.

I promise I'm not being paid for this referral. In fact, I'm pretty sure that meat bubbles are the worst idea ever. But I can't deny its insidious genius. Dogs are, indeed, morbidly fascinated by bubbles. And this device promises to crank out a thousand meat-scented bubbles a minute.

Let's repeat the central promise here: Hours of meat-scented bubble fun! You know, I have a cousin who can match this level of productivity, meat bubble by meat bubble, after eating a bowl of my mom's beefy chili.

So is this Suburban Fetish just the reinvention of the Fart Machine for a more distinguished audience? The lines are open for debate.
Image is property of Gazillion.